<n>Reference 036 Stage House</n>, a light installation by <n>3000arc</n>.

A portrait of <n>Antdot</n> from his 2025 press kit.

Cover art for the <n>DARK JAMZ</n> playlist by musician <n>ONE shotta</n>.

<n>i lost my grip on reality</n> (2021) by digital artist <n>POLYGON</n>.

hiding out from the sun. Shot at <n>The Ivory Space</n> on a <n>Mamiya RB67</n> camera.

**Death wish**

*The urge to jump affirms the urge to live*



Not everyone is cut from the same cloth. Some are cut from silk. Others, from a burlap sack. While the vast majority of tourists who visit the Eiffel Tower are inspired to take photographs of the bird’s eye view of Paris, a select few find themselves overwhelmed with the urge to jump.



The French call this phenomenon L’appel du Vide, which translates to the “call of the void”. It’s an impulse that’s not strictly unique to leaping from tall ledges. If you’ve ever felt the sudden urge to run your vehicle into a tree or jump in front of a moving train, these too are examples of L’appel du Vide.



When psychologist first caught wind of L’appel du Vide, they assumed it was associated with suicidal thoughts. However, upon further study, they dubbed the bizarre feeling the High Place Phenomenon and wrote that, “The urge to jump affirms the urge to live…”



Years ago, Sigmund Freud theorized that all humans possess what is called a “Death Drive” or “Death Wish” where we have an urge to self-destruct.



While this might not necessarily mean leaping from the Eiffel Tower, it could mean gambling huge amounts of money, blowing up a happy marriage, having an affair with your boss, picking a fight at a bar and engaging in any sort of risky behavior you know deep down will ultimately lead to your demise.



Surely you’ve felt this?



Life, work and love are going well. Too well. You find yourself either bored or anxious that the other shoe will drop like a guillotine atop your head. And so you beat the shoe to the punch. You self-destruct before life has the chance to destroy you first.



The answer, as it so often is in this newsletter, is to create.



When you are bored, create. When you are sad, create. When you are restless, create. When you are anxious, create. When you are overwhelmed (perhaps with a feeling of L’appel du Vide), create.



Boredom, sadness, restlessness, anxiety and overwhelm are fuel for the creative process; and it is my belief that if we don’t burn this fuel in a creative way, it will devour us totally.



// Cole Schafer

The ones who notice the storms in your eyes, the silence in your voice and the heaviness in your heart are the ones you need to let in.

\- Unknown

Portrait of <n>MAZEN (OZONE BABY)</n>, 2023.

Model <n>Yerahm Lee</n> in clothing from <n>Groupie</n>.

Digital animation by <n>Dom Sebastian</n>, 2014.

A photomontage by artist <n>Viktor H</n> depicts the <n>Statue of Liberty</n> holding a machine gun.

Cover art for the <n>DARK JAMZ</n> playlist.

<n>knights of shame iv</n> by <n>metal.blood</n>.